Baby Om is two weeks old today. His umbilical chord stump fell off this evening, right on schedule. I was supposed to be cleaning it with rubbing achohol but didn't realize until today after I researched it on the internet, so I hope there is no infection...woops! Sorry Om, your Mom is quite the space cadet lately.
His sleep schedule is pretty random, which we think is normal for this age. He got his first casts put on last week with Dr. Mosca (the pediatric orthopedic surgeon at Children's Hospital). Poor guy is used to kicking his feet and doing the bicycle, so having those heavy casts on his legs isn't very pleasant, to say the least. He was very fussy the first day of the cast, but has progressively gotten used to the sensation of the fiberglass casts.
Physically for me, I still feel pregnant. Nothing much has changed in my body except that my stomach is flatter (if you can call it that) and my heartburn/swelling is gone. Otherwise I still have the horrible itch (PUPPS) and the rhinitus is actually getting worse. I'm sitting here in bed with a pile of tissues next to me, very reminscent of early pregnancy in the 2nd trimester (the trimester from Hell, as I like to call it). Also, I'm having plenty of post-partum cramping that gets worse with each breast pumping session. Naseau is also making a comeback...I constantly drink different types of liquids (water, juice, diet coke) to try to change the nasty taste in my mouth and keep me from running to the toilet.
*Sigh* Deep down I know it's all due to breast pumping. If I weren't breast pumping, my body would slowly go back to normal and all the hormones would leave my body once and for all.
The worst part of my day is the feeding schedule. Honestly, I would rather just feed Baby Om formula. That way I wouldn't be bothered with the whole pumping scenario every two to three hours. I have to pump because Om doesn't latch on...he fusses and gets very upset whenever we try to breastfeed. I have to keep on trying, however...apparently there is still a chance that the baby can latch on despite being on bottles.
I hate the two little pumps I attach to my breasts. I can't do anything else while pumping besides stare at whatever television show my husband has decided to watch. Also, I have to simultaneously massage myself to get more milk...it just gets so stressful to hope for 3 ounces of breast milk each time. In the morning I get 3 ounces, then progressively during the day the amount decreases. At first I was also pumping at night, but that got to be too much craziness for me, so I've decided to only pump between 6 am and 10 pm. That way the night time schedule is excusively changing diapers and feeding him formula.
For foods that increase milk production, I'm taking Fenugreek capsules several times a day and eating some Indian concoction that both my Mom and MIL made...Mom's is a sweet mix of gram flour with ground nuts and dried fruits, and MIL's is similar except it has a lot of ginger.
My breasts ache with what I think is engorgment...but I still don't produce enough to give Om exclusively breast milk.
Anyway, in summary it's guilt that drives me to continue pumping. I know breast milk is best for baby's health, so I will suffer for 3 more months (yes, only 3) before deciding whether to continue pumping or switch excusively to formula. Babies need breast milk, but babies also need normal mother's who are not going bananas mentally. I also want to ENJOY my time with my baby, not constantly stress over the amount of milk he's getting or how crappy I'm feeling with the hormones surging through my body.